Drowning In My Favorite Poison

Everyone has the one in their life.  At some point, we all meet someone who sets our blood on fire and sends our minds reeling over the roaring tides of emotions we feel when we’re with them.  We are overwhelmed by just how strong our bodies and our hearts can respond to the sound of one’s voice, to the sensation of specific skin on our own, to the sight of their smile.

When you are so engulfed in this person, the brine you’ve swallowed and swam in and breathed for so long slowly turns to poison.  You don’t notice.  It chills your endorphin soaked blood and it singes your heartstrings. You feel the pain of their absence clearer than the ringing in your ears at the strike of their words.

Their poison replaces everything in you that was capable and was ready to face the world alone. Every moment of bravery is replaced with desperation for their love.  While you want it and cherish it and absorb everything you can muster, that love is sharp. It gyrates and pivots on an unsteady orb with jagged edges that tear at your skin, your flesh, revealing the red of your heart and the blue of your veins to the light of day but no one can see it because their backs are turns and your laughter convinces them that it’s all alright.  And it is alright, isn’t it?  You’re happy to feel the squirming, coolness of that poison fall down your throat and warm you with the fire that blazes in their eyes.  They are what keeps you alive.

 

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